Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
