Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
