Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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