You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
