So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize