What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just gargled with NyQuil
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
