I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
we're so committed to being not committed
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
