I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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