I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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