so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
