Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I still have a little drunk in my system
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
