shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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