Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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