he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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