the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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