Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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