i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
