Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
