this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
