My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
