Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
