I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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