He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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