a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
