wanna go halves on a baby?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
