i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
