It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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