69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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