God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
