I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I smell like Dick and happiness
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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