That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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