discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I have post one night stand depression
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize