i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
