My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
