i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
