My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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