He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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