So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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