swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize