what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
