I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
