Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
We left an ass print on the piano.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize