My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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