My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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