Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
