Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
drinking out of a sandbucket again
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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