Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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