Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
