i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
