I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
