"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
