I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize