Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
