There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Acid is not a monday night drug
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
