Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
