I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You pole danced in your parka.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
