I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
