sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
