You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
