margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
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Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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