Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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