What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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